Sometimes, near the holidays, there is a fine line—for me—between nostalgia and melancholy. As I think back on the way things used to be, and the people who used to be in my life, I can get sad, if I try.
I almost did tonight....
I was on the phone with my former daughter-in-law, discussing Christmas and our plans. I feel very fortunate that we are still very good friends and I was touched that she expressed concern that I be able to see all the grandkids and spend time with them during the holidays.
Of course, it's hard not to think about holidays past, since I live in the house I grew up in. I put the Christmas tree in the same spot my mother did, and decorate the same mantle she did. And I share her love of little white lights and gold and silver baubles.
As I felt myself leaning towards melancholy, I made a conscious effort to change directions. I put some of my favorite music on the stereo and turned up the volume. I straightened up the bedroom end of the house and filed a stack of papers, all the while be-bopping to the music.
It helped a lot...
I received the annual Christmas letter from my sister-in-law today, so I composed my own letter to send to both my brothers. Tomorrow, I will get it printed out on Christmas paper and mail it to them. Mostly, I told them that I was thinking about them and that I am glad they are my family.
And so, feeling better about things, I came in my room and was greeted by My Very Own Tree. I call it that because it is in my bedroom, and it is for me. It is not THE Christmas tree, and it is not decorated like THE Christmas tree. It is decorated like My Very Own Tree.
The lights on the tree cast a magical glow on my bedroom. It is enough light to sit here and type, but it would not be enough to read a book by. And so, I won't read....and spoil the magical glow by turning on a lamp.
The melancholy has gone away, replaced by a silly smile. What turned my frown upside down? The pink flamingos on the tree! I love their graceful, long necks, their long, skinny legs, and the fact that they are looking at each other.
I don't think I have ever seen a real flamingo, but I had plastic ones in my yard for awhile. It's funny how I got them: they were the first thing I ever “won” on ebay. I was looking at garden stuff on that site, saw the flamingos, and bid on them. And amazingly, I won the auction. I think they set me back about six dollars, if I remember correctly.
I emailed the seller with my information, so she could send me the bill. And she sent back the mailing information, so I could send my money order......With literally millions of people using ebay on any given day, I had managed to bid on, and then win, a pair of flamingos from a seller who lived in.....Podunk!
I went, in person, to pick up my flamingos and promptly named them after the seller and her husband. We visited for about an hour and became fast friends. At least, until she moved to southern California and I decided that I was spending too much money on ebay......and we lost touch with each other.
And the flamingos? They have moved on. A dear friend did me a favor and I wanted to repay her. She wouldn't take money from me. She took the flamingos instead.
I guess I should name these flamingos, too....
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