Seeing Stars....

I have felt adrift recently. What I have always held as true has been questioned. What I have known to be positive has been viewed as negative. My world, in some ways, has been upside down.

A life-time work ethic has been tested: seven and a half months of not working, fighting to get back to work, and finally, success. I have always defined myself by what I “do” and, for more than seven months, I did nothing. Or so it seems.

As a young child, I learned about celestial navigation: journeys guided by the sun, moon and stars at night. I have heard stories of Norse ancestors, sailors, who used the stars to find their way on a seemingly never-ending ocean. I have heard the names of those navigational stars. I have seen them in the night sky.

Life is full of navigational stars. They are individual for each one of us. And yet, many are the same. We have our values, our principles, and our sense of right and wrong. Those are navigational stars, to me.

We have our home towns, our familiar places, where we know all the navigational stars by heart. We aren't even aware of them when they guide us. Yet, we get where we need to be with their help.

Sailors have difficulty navigating by the stars in a storm. Clouds can make it difficult to see our stars. In the clouds I have encountered lately, the stars were mostly obliterated. I couldn't “check” my path, or verify my “position” when I couldn't see the stars.

I have been very busy for the past three days: I went to the doctor, got cleared to go back to work, and worked Thursday and Friday. I did what I have been doing for all these years: taking care of patients, and it felt good. My stars were out in full force, guiding me each step of the way.

I remember, as a child, asking Daddy: “what if the stars are wrong?” And I remember his answer: “the stars are never wrong. You have to trust them.”

And I do.....again.