Yesterday was a special day. We went shopping for back-to-school clothes for my granddaughter, Noelle. True, it happens every year, but this was special. Wait, who am I kidding? We go shopping at the drop of a hat, NOT once a year!
But it was truly special. For all of us: grandmother, mother and daughter. As Noelle said: “three generations of women....shopping!" What a joy. And what a day!
During one of several breaks we took, we were sitting around, remembering Noelle's first shopping trip: she was four or five days old. It was a cold and dreary January day, and Noelle's mom needed something to wear. We bundled the baby up and weren't out for all that much time. But it was a first, for Noelle.
When she was five months' old, I bought her the first purse she has ever owned. I was in Dallas for a convention and found it in one of the cute little boutiques in the hotel. The purse was meant for a baby: pink plush, all soft and snugly, and made by Gund, the folks who make teddy bears. Noelle loved it.
To paraphrase, we've come a long way since then....
Somebody forgot to tell the rest of the world to stay home yesterday so we could shop at our leisure. Oh well, we managed. The girls did give up on waiting in line for the dressing rooms. We decided to take it back home and let Noelle try everything on, then we would bring back everything that didn't fit. And, as luck would have it, the “fashion show” was lovely and nothing has to go back.
As I sat and watched, I was thinking back to the times, long ago, when I went shopping with my mother. Especially on Thursday afternoons. I worked in a clinic setting, at that time, and I had Thursday afternoons off. Invariably, my mother would call me at work, mid-morning, and ask what I was doing on my afternoon off. And I would tell her. Then, as if she didn't hear that I was going to be busy, she would invite me to go to lunch.
And there it was: the tug. How to say “no” to my mother? I had so much to do on my afternoon off from work. Important things to do. Things I cannot remember now. But I always acquiesced, and went to lunch with her. And shopped. And came home and got those other things done somehow...
Funny thing, after she died, I missed those shopping trips. Not the shopping, of course, but the time with my mother. The chance to be just “us girls”.....and it was gone forever. At that point in my life, I made an important transition. It had always been a “mother and daughter” thing: my mother called and took me out to lunch. I just had to switch roles, from being the daughter to being the mother.
And so, I started inviting my own lovely daughter out to lunch, as often as I could. The times with my mother were recalled and shared with my daughter. She understood, probably better than I did, how important the time together really is. It's not about where we eat or what we might buy, it's about being able to share our thoughts with each other. Talk, and laugh, and hug each other....
And that's what we did yesterday.
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