What happened?

I still have a lot of things I want to do while I am young enough to do them. I look in the mirror and my mother is staring back at me!

Where did the time go?

Oh wait, I remember. I spent all those years raising my children and trying to grow up myself. That's what happened. Life. But now my children are grown up and raising their children, so maybe it's my turn?

I remember as a child, starting many a sentence with “when I grow up....” and then launching into my elaborate plans for my adult life. Mostly, I was planning to do all the things that my parents wouldn't let me do because I was too young.

Well, now I am definitely not too young anymore. But somehow, I don't want to do many of them anymore. I remember telling my mother that I would stay up all night, “if I want to!” and now, that doesn't seem like such an important thing to do. Maybe because I spent plenty of years “staying up all night” when I was working night shift.

And I remember telling her that, “when I grow up, I am NEVER going to eat vegetables!” And of course, I do. But now, miraculously, they taste better than they did when I was a child. Or at least, most of them do.

So here I am, coasting into the downhill portion of life. Wondering how I could have wasted so many years not accomplishing everything I wanted to accomplish. Sure, I needed sleep, but not 8 hours. I could have squeaked by on 4 hours; I did it all the time when I was in nursing school. I had to just to do my Mom thing and my Nurse thing....and that was a lot of things to do.

The unfair part is, now that I don't have children to feed and clothe and nurture, I have lots more free time. Unfortunately, I used up all my energy back then, too. So now, after a full day at work, I don't have the energy to do as much as I used to.

I guess I could retire and have lots of time. But without enough money to make ends meet, how fun would that be? Not fun at all, I'm thinking. I have grown accustomed to living indoors, with plumbing and heating and all that good stuff.

And all that good stuff costs money. So, I have to keep working. Fortunately for me, I love my job. It really is rewarding to me to be a home health nurse. Rewarding and draining....Downtime is a must, to recuperate and regenerate myself so I can go out and do it again the next day.

So, what to do? I have to make a list, I guess. Hopefully, not a Bucket List, yet. A list of the things I want to do before I am too old to do things. Places I want to see and experiences I want to, well, experience. Then, I have to make sure that I don't let my work use up all my time and energy, and I save some for myself. For fun.

I know that planning for retirement is crucial, and I have done so. But it is still a ways off, and today is here right now. I need to enjoy today, tomorrow, the next day, and all my days. So, I have a plan: make a list, check off the experiences as I get to have them, enjoy today, look forward to tomorrow, and live in the moment.

Some of those moments are really, really special.