Living in a State of Grace..

I know lots of people. Every day that I work, I see lots of people. Those I work with, those I work for, those I know from other places and times, and, of course, my patients.

It never ceases to amaze me how different people see the same thing. Mostly, because I am a nurse, I see people dealing with illness, surgery, chronic pain, disease processes, and death and dying. Heavy stuff, indeed.

And their responses to their health conditions are as different as their physical characteristics. Some are fighting, to their last breath; some are angry and lash out at anyone and everyone; and some are dealing with their lot in life with amazing grace.

I respect each of them, their differences, and their right to face their issues in their own, individual manner. My responsibility, to those I care for as a nurse, is to honor their wishes and follow their lead. I have been cursed, accused of causing illness, hugged, and blessed.

But it is the people who are well, or in relatively good health, who amaze me the most. They are as different as night and day. I see people who approach life as a duty, to be served but not enjoyed. Life is meant to be harsh and difficult, and devoid of joy. Or grace.

And I see others who are the epitome of grace and joy. Each day is a new adventure. Life is a gift, an experience, and the ultimate joyride. They smile at the drop of a hat, greet others warmly, and try to give back as much as they receive. They have an appreciation of the important things in life.

They have grace.

This morning, as I woke up, I was thinking about this past week, my vacation. It was supposed to be a working vacation. A time of accomplishment. I have a door to paint, and six shutters to paint, too. A friend is waiting to hang the door and the shutters, and change the light fixtures on the porch.

I talked to him yesterday, and I apologized: I have had him on standby, waiting to do these things for me. And I have accomplished nothing. In my defense, the door has caused me heartburn. The paint won't dry, and I can't finish painting it until it decides to dry.

I put it out in the sun, to help it dry, only to have the sprinklers come on very early in the morning and soak it again. Not once, but two mornings in a row. Today, I got smart: I set up a fan, which has been blowing on the door for most of the day. And it is working: the door is nearly dry.

So tomorrow, I will go back to work. In between patient visits, I will try to come home and paint the door. And leave the fan out there to dry the paint. Oh, and I turned the sprinklers off, too.

The shutters are coming in the living room. It is warmer, dryer, and better lit. I can paint them in the evenings, after work. They were built specifically for my windows, and they are already primed, so two coats ought to do the trick.

And so, when I go back to work tomorrow, and my friends ask me how my vacation was, I will tell them that it was restful, peaceful, and fun. And it was.....

I live in a state of grace.