Looking For Rainbows..

It’s about to happen again. It always does at this time of year. I start thinking about where I have been and where I am going. Who I was and what I have become.

I take inventory: what worthwhile things have I accomplished? What mistakes have I made? What have I learned? Where have I been and how did I survive it?

Thoughts wander back in time:

Little girls, twirling in their party dresses. Ruffles, puffy sleeves, lace and bows. Mary Janes in black patent leather, or just plain white. White socks with lace on the edges. Braids, or piggy tails, or a big fluffy bow in their hair. 

Innately feminine, even at such a young age. Smiles are still filled with baby teeth; no toothless grins yet. Big, bright eyes and chubby cheeks with a natural, rosy glow. Giggles abound and so do shrieks.

Gathered around the table, as wiggly as always, squirming to see what is going on. Sitting still, as mothers chide them, kicking their legs under the brightly-colored tablecloth. Little pink cups, filled with candy-covered almonds, all in pretty pastels. 

Those silly “blowers” that squawk when they blow on them, and unfurl their pink and white harlequin pattern for all to see. Each squawk answered with a squeal, and then another squawk….and so it goes.

Packages, with festive bows. Long before the “gift bag” was born. In pinks and yellows and greens and patterns, all enticing their young recipient to open them. Hidden inside the lovely wrap? Such things as coloring books and crayons, paper dolls and jump ropes. Magical gifts for a magical time in life. 

I know how very lucky I am. The tangible evidence is overwhelming: born into a family that had a home, a car, both parents, a job, and close-knit relatives. There was a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food on the table.

Always.

And the intangibles were there, too: loving parents, an opportunity to get an education, an inheritance of intelligence and a love for history, art, travel and books. A creative spirit and the encouragement necessary to express one’s creativity. A sense of adventure and a lifetime love of looking up at the stars….

I wonder how it is that I got from there to here. What forces were at work? Why did things turn out the way they did? Why did I turn out the way I did?

And then it comes back to me: that intangible, innate sense of positivity. It has always been with me, since those very early days. I think it is there because I was surrounded by parents and family who loved me and told me so….

No matter how hard I fall, or how much it hurts, I always seem to bounce back. Regardless of the circumstances, I am going to look on the bright side. If it’s pouring rain, I will be looking for the rainbow. 

Or the mail truck. I have been waiting, trying to be patient, for a package to arrive. It sort of did, today. I wasn’t home and the mailman left me a note: I can pick my package up at the post office on Tuesday. But I want it Monday. 

And so, I chased the mailman all over Podunk. I stopped twice and talked to a mailman and each time, it was not the one I needed. Whoever said “the third time is the charm” knew what he was talking about: the third mailman had my package!

I have my package now. And on Monday morning, when excitement and curiosity get the best of me, I will open it carefully, savoring everything the box holds for me, and I will hear the sweet message that has been sent with it:

Happy Birthday!

And it will be……